"We Don't Need No Accountability"
Storyline Arc The Adventure Began
Number of EP 7
Date of Release Jan 21, 2014
Appearing characters Gregor, Aesling, Markus, Captain Aftin, Buddy, Instructor Tiller
Location Altreia
"We Don't Need No Accountability" is the third episode of The Adventure Began. The group arrive in Altreia and take the initiating test to become paladins.

Plot Synopsis Edit

The three are transported to the village of Doonlayan in Altreia and follow Captain Aftin's lead. After hearing a scream in the distance, they are informed by one of his golems that the town is overrun by rabid golems and they pass a corpse that is currently being devoured by two such creatures.

Aftin tells the group to disregard them, stating it's just a seasonal thing. Upon asking whether or not the paladins even help the townsfolk, the talkative golem answers Ashe that they used to. The six continue onwards, Ashe's suspicions of the Order being malicious rising when she notices the environment around them seems dead and marshy.

They arrive at the gates of Fort Vilebrand, the headquarters of the Varyndir Order. Aftin stops them from entering, saying they need to be official apprentices first. A man, referred to as Instructor Tiller by the Captain, comes out of the fort and is told to give the trio the initiating test. Aftin then enters the fort by himself.

Tiller introduces himself, telling them he was also bought as a slave from Alaran and that he's the only one who's able to administer the test, as all the other paladins are far too inebriated to. He leads them away from the gates and goes on, saying that all of the Order is now formed by Alarani slaves anyway, since the Altreian ones left, Aftin excluded.

They stop and Tiller explains the test to them, saying they only need to make one golem and showing them the potion of Aeos, which will temporarily give them the power to shape life. He says he'll just let one of the three do the test and pass all of them then, since he doesn't care much about it. Gregor and Ashe let Markus, but Tiller is hesitant to let him, as the potion's Divine magic reacts badly with his Arcane. Markus quaffs it anyway.

Tiller passes him a ball of clay, taking a few steps back. He instructs him to lend it a bit of blood and shape it. Markus turns it into a bust of his own head and Tiller advises him further, saying that he needs to crush all the emotion in the golem. The sorcelock obliges.

Upon seeing Ashe's shock, the Instructor says if this step isn't performed, the golems become too human in nature, which is considered a defect. Markus, saying he feels a bit bad, asks if there's a way to reverse that, and Tiller replies he could break the bust, which he does. Ashe stands bewildered.

Tiller congratulates them on passing the test and names them paladins. They all follow Aftin's golems into the fort.

Trivia Edit

  • Markus' last name, Velafi, is a noun that means 'to leap nude from a cliff whilst burning alive'.

Quotes Edit

  • Captain Aftin: "This is a pretty quiet town, nothing really happens here.."
  • GM: You hear a scream in the distance.

  • Gregor: "Th-they're not alive!"
  • Markus: "That is a philosophical argument that we can save for another day!"

  • Markus: "There's not a bad bone in that man's body. He's full of booze. There's no room."
  • Ashe: "That doesn't mean it's not still a problem!"
  • Markus: "We'll burn that bridge when we get to it, Ashe."

  • Markus: hand on Tiller's shoulder "I'm so sorry. Was it on account of your hair? Was it deemed too perfect?"
  • Instructor Tiller: " did you guess?"

  • Instructor Tiller: "I, uh, ooh, this he glowing?"
  • Ashe: "I think he's glowing." I take a step back.

  • Ashe: "He's creating sentient life right now." pauses "Is nobody else amazed by this?"
  • Gregor: "Your parents did it!"

  • Markus: "He'll be known as Markus the Lesser, Jr."
  • Ashe: accusingly "The late."
  • Markus: snickering "The late, yes!"
The Adventure Began
"Hard Times, Hard Crimes" - "Message in a Bottle Episode" - "We Don't Need No Accountability" - "Your Party Won't Stop? We can help." - "Can't Quit When You're Just a Head" - "Two Down, One to Go" - "Let's Play House, Let's Play Doctor" - "So Long, Farewell, Good Riddance"