"Hard Times, Hard Crimes"
Storyline Arc The Adventure Began
Number of EP 5
Date of Release Jan 7, 2014
Appearing characters Gregor, Aesling, Markus, Thog
Location Alaran
"Hard Times, Hard Crimes" is the first episode of The Adventure Began. The trio stands trial, facing charges of being inhuman.

Plot Synopsis Edit

The episode begins in the Alarani State Court. Thog, there to act as the trio's lawyer, explains to the group that by killing Thaddius and his master, they caused the authorities to 'question their humanity'. He notes that the Alarani don't like people who do too well. Markus, being a tiefling, remarks he doesn't feel too opposed to being branded inhuman, to which Thog replies that being human is the standard in Alaran and one needs it to get by.

Gregor suggests they oppose the court, but after a brief interruption from the judge, Ashe points out that if they want to remove this sort of injustice, it'd bode better if they just played along for the court trial and only then try to do so. The group agrees on this.

They turn to the judge, who tells them to elect a spokesperson to present the defense. Markus pushes his newfound glasses up his nose expectantly and, after a deep sigh, Thog elects him. The new defense attorney proceeds to ask the judge if the accusation is based upon his appearance, to which the latter responds mostly negatively, saying that while that is part of the issue, it was mainly the group bringing down the two monsters in Meadshire that caused it to arise and that right now, the only question that matters is whether or not they are human.

Markus steps up on the table dramatically and, using a trick, removes his horns and tail, stating this should answer his question. Thog gets him down and confirms the statement, adding Markus simply wants attention for his appearance. Gregor does the same, though as is actually human, he tugs at his hair. Ashe gets him down from the table and asks Thog if there's even a chance they'll be able to win the trial. He reluctantly tells her they appear to be fairly convinced the group is guilty and that their punishment will be being sold into slavery.

The judge, interrupting once again, demands the defense demonstrates the inhuman powers the prosecution claims they have. Ashe takes the word, retorting the court didn't even list the exact charges to them. Markus takes it a bit further and implies the court itself is very inefficient, asking for the judge's credentials. After being handed them, he eats the papers, but after the judge retorts all judges are given divine right to ordinate, Markus climbs atop the judge's table and pulls them from behind his ear, stating it's just sleight of hand. Guards seize him and carry him off to the penalty box immediately.

Gregor, casually donning Markus' lawyer glasses, walks up to the judge, steps on his table and pleads with him to let the three of them go. The judge casually refuses and Gregor, sighing, walks back to the table. Thog turns to Ashe, who seems to be the last hope for the trio. She begins a question, but is interrupted by Gregor, who, again, jumps onto the judge's table and accuses him of not being human, saying a human wouldn't act like this to other humans. Guards also seize him.

Ashe starts yelling at Thog, realizing that he was probably aware this would happen to the group. She is also carried off by guards after attempting to choke him.

Trivia Edit

Quotes Edit

  • Judge: "Can the defense please break the huddle formation and address the court?"

  • Gregor: "That didn't sound a lot like justice.."
  • Ashe: "Justice comes in many forms."

  • Narrator: "Objection, your honor, the prosecution would-"
  • Markus: "You shut your mouth."
  • Judge: "Objection overruled...?"

  • Thog: "He's a sick and sad individual."
  • Markus: "Uh..strike that from the record, please."
  • Thog: "Nah, keep it."

  • Ashe: "We came into this somewhat blind, I believe that we were literally handcuffed and and thrown into..what was it, a box?"
  • Markus: "A crate, of some sort?"
  • Gregor: "You guys got a box?"
  • Ashe: "What did you get?"
  • Gregor: "Whips."
  • Ashe and Markus: "Oh."

  • Ashe: whispering "What you do gets us in trouble!"
  • Markus: whispering "Isn't it great?"

  • Markus: "Gregor, are you hungry at all?"
  • Ashe: panickedly whispering "Markus! Markus!"
  • Gregor: ""
  • Markus: ...I eat the contract.
  • Gregor: "Were you going to feed me that?"
  • Markus: "Certainly would've been preferable."

  • Thog: to Ashe "You gonna stop this shit or should- oh, there he goes."
The Adventure Began
"Hard Times, Hard Crimes" - "Message in a Bottle Episode" - "We Don't Need No Accountability" - "Your Party Won't Stop? We can help." - "Can't Quit When You're Just a Head" - "Two Down, One to Go" - "Let's Play House, Let's Play Doctor" - "So Long, Farewell, Good Riddance"